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A Few Items of Culture and Etiquette For Dining In
German Speaking Countries
(Thanks also to Jennifer Crandall from
Minnetonka, MN, and to D.J. Kiernan)
Seating
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When visiting friends or if you are invited
to someone's home for a meal, be sure to take a bouquet of flowers, a bottle
of wine, or a box of chocolates. If you take flowers, remember to
remove the paper wrapping around the flowers before you hand them to the
hostess or host. Sit where you are directed to sit.
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In a restaurant do not wait to be seated
(unless it is obvious that an employee of the restaurant is seating the
guests). Look for an open table, or a table which may be occupied, but
still has an adequate number of empty seats.
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Go to that table and ask if the seat(s)
is/are free: Ist dieser Platz noch frei/Sind diese Plätze noch
frei? (Ist hier noch frei?)
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Be seated if those sitting at the table
indicate that no one is occupying the seat(s)
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It is not absolutely necessary to carry on a
conversation with the people already sitting at this table. They may
be otherwise engaged in their own conversation. However, starting a
conversation may lead to a very pleasant dining experience.
Ordering
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When visiting friends (or when invited to
someone's home) be sure to try everything offered to you. You don't
have to eat it all, but do try it.
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In a restaurant many people do not ask for a
menu. Menus are usually posted outside the restaurant, and many guests
have already selected what they want to order before they even enter the
restaurant. Posting the menu outside also helps the consumer to know
whether they can afford to eat at this restaurant in the first place.
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To get the waiter's attention say: Herr
Ober! If it is a waitress, say: Fräulein!
It may take you several attempts to get the attention of the wiater/waitress,
but keep trying. You might also say Wir möchten bestellen (We
would like to order).
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If you want to see a menu, say Die
Speisekarte, bitte! If you know what you want to order, do so
when the waiter/waitress comes. They often like to take orders for
things to drink right away.
When The Meal Is Served
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Unlike the USA, food in a restaurant is
brought out when it is ready. Things are not put on a warming tray
until the entire order for the table is ready to serve.
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When the meal for another person is brought
to your table, say Guten Appetit or Mahlzeit. In doing
so you are wishing them a good meal, and indicating that they should go
ahead and start eating. Do not wait for others to be served.
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Keep your hands on the table, but not your
elbows. Do not
put your hands in your lap, or keep them under the table. The idea
behind this is quite possibly that someone may think you are feeding the
animals.
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Eat with fork in left
hand, knife in right hand. When pausing and putting utensils
down, set knife and fork down on opposite sides of plate. When finished,
slide fork around to rest next to knife on right side of plate. One
teacher reports this explanation for this custom:
The story I was told was
that during the time the Europeans were uncivilized many a fight broke out
at the dinner table (probably in bars and eating establishments and not in
the homes, but one never knows). The Goths, Franks, Visagoths and other
barbarians would not set their daggers down during the course of a meal and
therefore always kept it in their right hand. If one has a weapon in the
right hand, the left hand has to be used for holding the fork. This
tradition carried on even after the people
were cultured. I guess
old habits are hard to break
- If wine (or a beverage) is served, wait until
everyone has their glass, then raise your
glasses together and say "Prost" or "zum Wohl". Look
others with whom you are toasting in the
eye when you toast and are taking a sip.
- If you are staying with a family for a few
days and are given a napkin in a napkin
ring to use, return it neatly to its ring because you will most likely
be using that napkin for your whole stay.
Leaving The Table
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In a home be sure to tell the hostess/host
that you enjoyed the meal by saying Das hat geschmeckt. At
a restaurant, if the waiter/waitress asks: "Hat's geschmeckt?",
be sure to answer "Ja" or "Und wie!"
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In a restaurant you will need to get the
attention of the waiter/waitress by saying Herr Ober! / Fräulein!
again.
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To indicate that you want to pay your bill
say Zahlen!
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You pay at the table (in most cases).
The waiter/waitress carries a large black wallet/purse. Bills are
stored on one side, and coins on the other side.
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The price of the service (Bedienung) has
already been included in the cost of your meal. Do not leave a tip on
the table. If you want to give the waiter/waitress something extra (ein
Trinkgeld),
simply say the amount of money you want him/her to keep when you hand them
they money. For example, if your meal came to DM33,80 and you want to
give the waiter/waitress an extra DM 1,20, say Fünfunddreissig.
If you hand the waiter/waitress DM 35, he/she will give you no
change. If you hand him/her DM40, he/she will give you DM 5 in
change. Remember, you have already given the waiter/waitress at least
a 15 % tip already. You do not need to give them anything more.
From Robert Shea's Web
Page
EATING and COPING AT THE DINNER TABLE
- Eat your fries with the little fork -
sometimes with mayonaise instead of ketchup
- Don't put your left hand in your lap when you
eat.
- Watch what other people do at the table before
you dig in.
- Food/drink - the coffee is super-strong and
the bread can be hard (but it is supposed to be that way!)
- Germans don't put their hand on their lap
while eating. Looks like you are giving the food to the dog, I've been
told.
- Don't help yourself from the refrigerator or
take a soft drink without asking
- Do not whine about the food. Try everything.
You will not starve.
- Make sure you say "das schmeckt" -
it tastes good.
- When eating or drinking together, wait until
someone says Guten Appetit or wants to "anstossen" (click glasses
to say "cheers". Also look into their eyes, when doing so. These
are small details, but important!
- The rules are: If you take a break from eating
or if you have cleared your plate but would like to have another
serving, you cross your Besteck on the plate. If you are
finished, you lay your knife and fork on the plate, parallell
to each other. (The precise position would be on the
right side of the plate with the handles of the knife and
fork extending slightly beyond the rim of the plate and the
tips angled to the left.) But this latter rule is not all
that important, just whether knife or fork are crossed or
parallel. It's a no-no at any time during the meal to rest
a knife or fork on the rim of the plate with the handle supported
by the table. There is definitely no official rule for
indicating that you did not like the food. That would
not be very polite. Of course, if you are not
aware of German table manners and halfway through the
meal take a break and lay down the Besteck parallel to
each other, your host family might worry why
you finished so early.
RESTAURANTS
- Notice on the menu if the tip is included.
- Don't expect ice cubes in cola, you need to
ask for it.
- There are NO free refills on drinks.
- The basket of bread on the table costs extra
- Feel free to sit with strangers in a
restaurant, once you determine ob hier noch frei ist
- You also have to order water extra (Still oder
mit Kohlensaeure) and pay extra.
- And, of course, no icecubes! Crunch up a few
cubes to get a horrified reaction
- If you cross your knife and fork on your
plate, it means you are just pausing. If you lay your knife and fork side by
side, it means you are finished, and the waiter may come and take your plate
away from under your nose.
- Doggiebags are still mostly unknown but
feeding your dog under the table and asking for a bowl of water is no
problem in most restaurants (some now have signs with a picture of a dog and
"Ich muss draussen bleiben")
About Adolph Knigge
As far as table manners are concerned, I suggest going to The Man himself:
Knigge.
Adolph Freiherr von Knigge published his book "Ueber den Umgang mit
Menschen" in 1788. In Germany, he is still the
proverbial "Mr. Manners", the arbiter
of proper behaviour. Below is the address of a website that features some
of his table manners. But first, here's a
joke about Knigge's flawless etiquette. One of his table rules
says that you should NEVER Never eat fish with a knife. (That's why a well-equipped
German household features a set of fish knives, among other things.)
In any case, this joke tells the story of how Knigge died: One day, he is
out swimming in the ocean. All of a sudden, he sees
a big blood-thirsty shark approaching. Knigge
immediately pulls out a big knife to defend himself.
The shark frowns, shakes its head in disapproval and says,"Aber Herr Knigge!!! Fisch mit Messer???" whereupon Knigge drops his knife and
lets
himself be eaten
Adolph Knigge Web Site: http://www.kochatelier.de/index.html
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